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True Story©... King of my Village

When I was a younger and slightly more sprightly man--…  Let me stop bullshitting, before I started drinking and fuckin’.  Back before I started drinking and fuckin’, I was drafted to fight for my country in the jungles of Vietnam. Look, I don’t wanna hear NONE of that “Phlip, you’re only 38” shit.  I was drafted to fight in Vietnam and that is the end of it.
I was taken through MEPS and given a full once-over and physical, poked and prodded from every angle with no happy ending.  As I was finishing the last part of my evaluation, a loud siren sounded and I was rushed from the office wherein I was conversing with an entrance office and whisked into a van just outside of a door behind the desk we were in front of.
Me: “Uhh…” Officer: “SHUT UP!” Me: “But--…” Officer: “But what?” Me: “But where the hell y’all taking me?” Officer: “You’ve been drafted.  You know that right?” Me: “Well yeah, so--…” Officer: “So we’ll take you wherever the fuck we need you!” Me: “Is this …
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