Long week, bored to shit.... Let's talk about it

Gonna take the peoples for a ride today...
Well, not really or literally, but do not be surprised if I am caught rambling on this one, I need to be doing something with my brain and hands to avoid snapping off on someone and losing my job...


**********Why must I weep for my people?**********
Sunday in church, there was a lot of speaking before the sermon because it was Easter of course... My siblings (and now my girlfriend) and I have basically learned to sit and wait on someone to BRUTALLY butcher the English language every Sunday. Luckily for us, that individual is never the pastor, but it happens with one of those speakers, weekly without fail.
This week's words were "unbeknowingly" and "afrightened."
Yeah, I know. Katie looked at me as soon as old dude said the first one and says "unbeknownst, maybe?" and we all got a chuckle out of it.
A good while later, someone READING A SCRIPTURE drops "afrightened" on us. I kind of missed it, because I was reading along and all, but my phone buzzed, a text from Preston seated next to mama on the next pew up brought it to my attention JUST AS SHE SAID IT AGAIN!!!
Look, I am decently well-spokeded and e'rything, and recognize regional influences on my rate and style of speech, but damn, sometimes I want to gouge my fucking eardrums out when people get to Jesse Jackson'ing words on us like that.
How ironic that this takes place in a church just 300 yards or so from where Jesse went to college?




**********Genuine Surprise**********
Yes, I will be the first to say it... Wait, no I won't, as I am sure someone has already, I didn't think old Barry had it in him... Apparently he had already given the order on FRIDAY to do what needed to be done to get the captain of that Maersk ship back. We all know the outcome to this story, Navy SEALs parachute in during the dark of night, and from 25 yards out, 3 pirates get their melons busted open with 3 obviously simultaneous shots.
Sure, all the president actually DID was to say "do what you gotta do," but I honestly had him pegged to be a bit too much a puss for that, and I voted for the man.
Yes, the asshole in me imagined him sitting up in the Oval Office getting a live feed not available to ANYONE else on it and as soon as their shells got hit, yelling "BOOM, HEADSHOT!!!" like that "FPS Doug" guy and probably millions of other nerds on the internet.





**********Random**********






**********"What's your name?"**********
"So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls."

"Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun...
... And the fact that I've got 'Desert Eagle point five O'..."
Written down the side of mine...
Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!"





**********As the weekend approaches...**********
I have come to realize what a cheap date I am...
Not terribly difficult to entertain, silly as hell and able to make SOME fun out of most situations. I will have some yardwork to do if the weather is kind enough to allow us to do so, then I will wash my ass and venture out for more of my adventures with Katie.
"Define 'adventures'" you ask?
Sure!
We basically ride around to nowhere in particular, we wind up in parks, malls (even malls 60 miles away), restaurants, movies, hobby shops and toy stores. Yep, basically nothing is off limits. One time a trip to a flea market saw us simply going down a country road in Browns Summit because we had nothing better to do, really. Then we had lunch and went to the movies. These things go on for several hours most days and really do not cost a lot. All you need is an imagination, gas and a camera.
This weekend, I am pretty sure we're going to do something same when I get done with the yardwork or when she gets out of class if we don't have any to do. I need to go back to the Flea Market on a Saturday, as there was a booth that has 3 or more model cars I want; an open top 1965 GTO Hearst Edition, a Wood Panel Van, and a couple of Corvettes, all still original Maisto packaging except for one of the Vettes, which I would look over before buying because of that. I also have it in my mind that I want to run the circuit of hobby stores, stopping in Hobbytown, Hobby Lobby and that other one I can't think of the name of, I have already been to Michaels within the last couple of days.




**********It is almost one of my favorite times of the year...**********
NBA Playoffs start this coming weekend, and in spite of my Lakers playing down to 3 teams they should have emasculated down the stretch and therefore squandering the top overall record in the league (and what would have been a team record number of wins), I am WAY happy seeing what we're up against... I mean, only one team has won a game in Cleveland this season, and the (still off in my opinion) chance that we see them in the finals had THAT fact added to the one that the eastern conference has parity that the west had last year. I have always been of the opinion that parity in playoffs series' makes for a team to be VERY weary after a hard-fought series, and I don't think there is a team in the west that can take the Lakers to even 6 games with Bynum back in.
Yes, we walk through good teams, but play down to the shitty ones, and there are no shitty teams in the playoffs, so I look forward to the rematch with the Celtics in the finals, or a meeting with an ABUSED Cleveland LeBrons squad.




**********Toys I didn't know I had...**********
Okay, still looking for something in the bottom of that closet, I found another car that needed assembly...



Yeah, that is the instructions and half-assembled engine and interior the car itself is under, it is a work in progress.
I know what you're saying "Phlip, you already HAVE a 1:18 shooting star, don't you?"
Yes, I do, and I still thank my girlfriend for having bought it for me.
Fact remains, I actually forgot I'd gotten this one though... See, when I got it, I thought assembly would be a BREEZE and I had disposable enough income to spend $25.97 (according to the Wal Mart tag still on it) on bullshit at the time (and lord knows I did), I am pretty sure this went down somewhere between 2003-2005, early 06 at the latest. I'd gotten a little bit in on it, then abandoned it. It was more difficult than I had time for at that point in time...
Well, I am a lot better at these things now, so I sat and started in on it tonight, and it is a lot easier than I recall it being, but is definitely not a 1-sitting assembly as you've seen previously. That reason drives the fact that I will NOT be taking pictures of every step of the assembly.
Also, the packaging for this one does not allow for it to be securely placed back in once assembled (that, I am seeing is the difference between Maisto and ERTL models), so I will have to spring for a display case for this one soon before or after it is assembled.
I will make an attempt to work on this one tonight and tomorrow, I hope to have it done and in a display case before I come back to work on Monday.




**********The world, according to young President Buddy...**********
In the world according to my 5 year-old nephew, Katie is actually my wife and not my girlfriend...
Gotta love how adorable the short people can be sometimes, no?




**********Pause for the funny**********





**********Not terribly unlike Jared, maybe?**********
I decided to try something different today...
Subway in Elon College is 1.6 miles from here -- drove past it on the way in to work this morning to be sure -- and I get an hour for lunch.
I decided that while we are still in the mid-50s, I was going to fucking hoof it.

Wasn't as difficult or silly as one might have thought it to be, with the exception of having to slow my pace to keep from breaking a sweat while doing it, as anyone who has ever seen me after working out, it looks like someone has thrown water on me I sweat so much. Lucky for me it was a bit windy out too. In such, I live in NC, and the temperature will soon swell to slavery-like levels, so that will be a walk I won't be attempting again anytime soon.




**********Sometimes the jokes write themselves...**********
Perhaps one might be so inclined as to not give a mad assfuck about some people, but when the funny comes in, then the funny just comes the fuck in...
According to these here internets, quarantined and since shamed former NFL quasi superstar Michael Vick is apparently pitching a reality television show...
That's right, fam, I said that Mr. Ron Mexico himself is pitching a reality television show. Need to see it with your own eyes? Well let me Google that for you.

I was thinking -- basing my experience solely on the current run of reality shows on television -- about just HOW this whole thing could be played...
* First idea that I had would be "The Pit Bull Whisperer," with guest host Cesar Milan, wherein Mike still trains fighting dogs, but in a less inhumane manner. Given cues from Cesar, he makes killers out of dogs and if the dog just doesn't have it in them, then they're adopted back into regular families instead of being kilt dead.

* I was thinking as well of it being something like "Flavor of Love," where Mike Vick, Ron Artest, Paris Hilton, DMX and a couple of other celebrity dog owners who have done irresponsible or illegal things are in a house competing to remain in the house and win some kind of prize... This could STILL involve Cesar Milan in the same role played by Flav, Ray J or Bret Michaels...
The amount of coloredness that could come along with this would make for comedic GOLD, in that DMX and Mike Vick's respective onhangers and weed carriers would ALWAYS be in the fucking house, making noise, causing a generic nuisance and of course scaring the white women.

* The very much quite apparentl and damned fucking obviously the route he intends to take will be similar to T.I.'s "Road to Redemption," or whatever the shit it was called, where he will claim to be unscripted in his traipsing about the world trying to convince kids that what he did was wrong and trying to convince us all (but most especially NFL Commish Roger Gooddell) that he reformed and deserving of a chance to be a millionaire again. The problem with this is that dog fighting is not THAT frequent an occurrence, especially when compared to the aforementioned T.I.'s weapons charges, or the drug charges before it.
Going and speaking to kids about the ills of some shit they would not have done any-fucking-way is pretty fucking stupid, not terribly dissimilar from convening with 80 year-olds on the ills of sexual deviancy, no?

... God, if I could use these powers for good, I probably wouldn't.

Further proof that Michael Vick is not near as smart as T.I. -- or even Flavor Flav apparently. Failed to preserve that mountain of fucking money he had made when everyone knows that sports money is longer than rap money, and now desperate to free himself from his own stupidity by at least breaking even on the other side of his own fuckups and those of others that he funded, he shows the resolve of a rat in a corner, with none of the God-given cunning or requisite real-world skills. The number of people who have remained in his corner prove that he has no one he can trust, nor did he at any point. No, I don't feel sorry for him, because I would have loved to had the chances that he shit on.
Fuck Mike Vick. I would sooner he respect our collective rights to not have to give a fuck about him than to try and pick up the pieces of the abortion that has become his life.




*********Finally, my work day is over**********
I'm outta here.
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