I was thinking...

... I have spent the month yammering on about days of hip hop past, and then posting images of cars I cannot own. When was the last time I simply posted a randomly silly blog about nothing in particular?
That's right, the normal nothingness, crass and tasteless as it may be. Often disrespectful, usually nihilist and sometimes actually humorous, but not necessarily...

Anyway, let's get right down to business, or non business as it were.

*****One day a couple weeks back...*****
I was involved in the excavation of my 10am crap... I am in the handicapped stall giving it the BUSINESS (word to AT&T Wireless), and just as I squoze out a mud monkey, some dude comes in -- as normally happens when one is making a rancid and particularly raucous mess of a bathroom, of course -- and takes up into the next stall to me (natural, since there are 3 -- just dumb luck I guess).
He SITS DOWN, pees, then gets up, washes his hands and leaves...
It took all I had in me to NOT laugh while he was washing his hands.





*****Anyone care to chance explaining this shit?*****





*****Things I should teach the buddy soon...*****


I mean, he is starting 1st grade this week and I AM moving a little further away from my sister, so she can't exactly hold these things against me, can she?
One can view it as her due punishment for all the shit she did to me when I was young.




*****Is baseball still the "national pastime"?*****
I was thinking about this the other day... How is it that baseball is still the national pastime, when it is not the most watched sport (that would be football, then NASCAR for those keeping score at home) and kids don't even PLAY the shit recreationally anymore?
As of late, I spend a bit of time kinda riding around and letting the speaker exercise (something I will not do NEAR as much with a forthcoming announcement), and I notice that the old baseball fields -- or even large open fields that happen to be big enough -- where we used to play baseball with a beatup bat and tennis balls and no gloves have all fallen into terrible states of disrepair, even in the "nice" neighborhoods, while the basketball courts are still full on days where weather allows. At indoor gyms, it is near impossible to get on the court without a wait, and that is if they'll even let you IN the motherfucker - word to Barber Park.

These days, though, it seems that all anyone cares about in baseball is the latest name released off of that list as having used steroids. I cannot name 3 people who can specifically say they give a mad assfuck about what happens on the field these days.
Well, not unless what happens on the field is a direct result or affront to something about the druggers of baseball's past.
Besides, I think that steroids should be ALLOWED in baseball, if not any other sport...
No, stay with me here...
Baseball is boring as it gets, games routinely taking 3+ hours with lulls of sometimes 30+ minutes where nothing interesting or exciting happens. Personally, I am quite pissed that I am being denied my God-given right to see a man turn on a 200MPH fast ball or 150MPH breaking ball and hit a line-drive home run that impales 3 people and still travel 800 feet in the air...
Bring steroids BACK to baseball!!!




*****Is this English shit THAT hard?*****
I work for a medical lab in a position where I speak to 30ish-70ish people EVERY day who may be having an issue receiving their patients' medical test results.
No, I can't tell you whether or not you pissed hot for weed, dust, heroin or viagra, so don't ask me to risk my job so you can quit yours before they fire you, or perhaps find some other reason to get fired that would not disqualify you for unemployment, so fuck off...
Oh, where was I?
Oh yeah, back to work... The division I work for serves it that I will be speaking with medical facilities serviced in my lab's "region" which means I speak to people from as far North as DC, as far due south as Savannah Georgia and as far west as the areas surrounding Bristol, Tennessee... It seems that EVERY day someone asks me "where are you from?" to which I explain that I am working in Burlington, NC and was raised the next county over in Greensboro, and it is explained that I don't exactly SOUND like the typical southerner, whatever in the fuck that means...
Anyway, this woman I just talked to had apparently lost something she had been sent, but in her world "our" was pronounced "air" and "area" was "urreah" (yeah, chew on that for a minute). And yes, this woman was from VA, and if you THOUGHT Virginia wasn't southern, then you're either a Virginian living in denial, or a clueless outsider.

Either way, I sit in awe with how the language is mangled on my daily, and I am sure that prior blogs have spoken to this. I am not even going to spend a moment going in on the typed language.




*****I think of strange shit while in the car...*****
This morning on my way to work, I recalled that I do NOT remember how to write in cursive. I mean, my PRINTED handwriting isn't much of shit either (let us just say that there is a REASON I have become a decent typist in my quest to not have to write shit down unless I must), but the only thing I can write in cursive is my signature, which only loosely resembles my name and only then when you know what my gub'ment name is...




*****Know what?*****
I still haven't caught that jerk that has been farting in my car.



*****Recession cheapies...*****
I am sitting here, immediately following a stop on some errands on my lunch break, so I had to do the fast food thing or gnaw my arm off, but that is for another blog.
I stopped in Wendy's and got a sour cream & chives potato and on my out of the joint, I grabbed handfuls of plastic knives, forks and spoons... I often eat my lunch that requires utensils when I DO carry it to work, and I need those things. Stocking up on them on the occasions I DO have to stop for fast food greatly cheapens this deal.
Hey, I save where I can!




*****Seriously?*****
Perhaps I am judging the book by the cover (ha!), but I am REALLY beginning to worry about these damned things when I go to Target.


(Didn't MJ get in trouble for this?)


(Isn't this pretty much what is WRONG with kids these days?)

... I cannot EXPRESS how hopeful I am that they have something better than this shit when it comes time for my own (no more than 2 total) children.

*****I got it in writing now*****


What that says is:
"8-13-2009 2:25pm
Someone Shoot Me Please
-Signed Heather M****"
... I am going out to have this thing notarized and we will SEE her about this shit as soon as it becomes conveniently possible! There is no stated expiration date on this now legal document, so I will make use of it as soon as necessary.
I am so happy, I can end this blog that I have been working on for a few days now with a fully pleased air about myself.
See you folks on the next one.
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