"I'm on a boat," pt. III -- 'first real port of call' edition

Okay, I have a bit of a confession to make...
I'm racist, I cringe most times when I hear a foreign accent. What, with the immense number of Eastern Europeans on this boat, and the PURELY international staff, I would spend the entire week damn near like a hunchback [pause...].

When I left you, The Katie and I had just seen a magic show and had called it a night, expecting of our first real port of call, following an unplanned stop in Nassau.

12/01/2009 Labadee, Haiti

I know what you're thinking.. "Vacationing in HAITI?!!?"
Don't fear for my safety, Labadee is an "out" island, privately controlled by Royal Caribbean and fenced off from the rest of the country. There are no resorts or any of that stuff here, only a couple beaches, some Land Rover Defender 110s, a few trams, 3 restaurants, 4 bars, a marketplace and a flea market, all under the scope and security of Royal Caribbean, so I will not be kidnapped and anally raped, I was to understand -- and given that I am home typing this now, I apparently was not.

0634 - Awaken, pass water and get back in the bed.

0903 - Wake up for real this time, prepare and meet the Davis family for breakfast at the buffet in wait for release to be able to enter the island.

1030ish - [insert images here]







1110 - We're OFF a boat...
-Or "We're on an island"
-Or.
Ahh, fux it, here's some more pics.







I put my phone in Linda's bag because the case does not hold it as securely as I might otherwise like and I am not planning to need it anyway, I just don't wanna leave it in the room in case mama or Preston calls/texts.


1200 - I have conquered a hammock without bloodying myself on the rock conveniently positioned just below.


1300 - We enter the market and I get a shot glass for my mama, who collects them, and a bottle of "Rhum" for myself, which I would assume is an alcoholic beverage. Exiting the market, "A Tale of 6 Cities," Scene IV... Occurrence #2 is used to get me into the Flea Market and we're beckoned from a million different directions with everyone touting that they've made the items they're selling themselves, all the woodworking and all that... Oddly, though, they're ALL SELLING THE SAME SHIT!!!

[Phlip note - remember what I said about accents up there? Care to venture a guess which is my least favorite? Well I will divulge that I WISH I knew French so as to not have to stand captive to a Haitian accent.]

1400 - After stopping by the bar for a Corona for me and some drink called the "Labadoozy" for the each of us, we hop on one of the trams and circle the island one last time before heading back to the boat to put all of our stuff down. Not before photographing more of the island:






Luckily, there was no heat stroke, but I have not yet seen Linda with my phone.

1542 - We find her and Cornelia in the casino, she returns the communications device and we shoot the shit some more over drinks, while the NEXT person ignores my requests to not be contacted unless it involves Bruiser, money or an emergency.

1630 - People are filing back onto the ship and the captain announces that we will be departing shortly.

1643 - Horn sounds -- no nuggets in my undies this time. Boat backs, turns and we're on our way now.

1703 - Parting images of the island:


















Not bad, that sunset, no?

1710 - Down to room to change clothes for pre-dinner show and dinner.

Ever seen the moon over the Caribbean?

Well now you have, I guess I don't don't dislike this camera so much anymore.

1900 - Showtime, 70's Marquee stuff, I did not doze off at all during this one.

2000 - We try to catch 'Margarita Madness' and get a 2-for-1 before dinner, but it'd ended at 1930. We shoot the shit for a few minutes and head to the dining room for a Venetian-Themed dinner, I had the Panko/Cilantro crusted Cod, and Gibson treats the table to a Merlot.

2230 - Return to room to change clothes for the '70's Dancing in the Streets' party in the promenade. Towel animal of the evening is an Elephant:


2245 - There is some 'street' and there is some music, but very little dancing, so...

2248 - ... we're on the elevator -- or 'lift' as the smarmy Brits call them -- to do the Jacuzzi instead.

2340 - Remove wet clothing and call it a night.


You know what?
This is shaping up to be one hell of a ride, I am having a blast, getting a ton of good pictures and very much enjoying being served a 3-course gourmet meal every damned night.
As seen in the sign above, our next stop will be in Jamaica with another surprise to be be named when we get to it.
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