"Chivalry vs. Recession"... a conversation

At some point during my upbringing with a mostly-absent pops, I was left to hearsay or observation of what could be construed as overly slightly matriarchal (read: woman-centric) standards of how dating works… A blog for another time would include how such an accepted approach to dating is what killed parity in relationships, and with it chivalry. Luckily, my two readers, this blog is not about that.
One of the things, though, that I specifically recall reading, seeing or hearing time and time again before I ever went on my first date was that it was tacky and/or cheap for a dude to use a coupon on a date with a chick, especially the first date. Being that I am 31 years of age now, we can know that bit of information was received in the early to mid 90’s. Applying to the here and now, with major changes in how things are carried in general, what with the change in employment circumstances as it relates to men and women and not to forget the recession that Obama currently has us embroiled in. So I cracked open my pretty new phone and asked the question of my peoples on The Book of Face…

“Question of the day: Is it still wrong to use a coupon on a date? When does it become acceptable?”

I figured this would be a topic that would surely get the attention of the ones with higher estrogen counts. At least I hoped it would…


First response was from the homie Brent, with…
"she better respect your thriftiness...if she don't know there's a recession going on she needs to get curbed!!!"

Next respondent was former coworker Ulrica with…
"It shouldn't matter your saving money . If the other person have a problem make them pay for the meal.. Lol ! I'm just saying that extra could be used for something else.."

Next up was the homie Galen, with…
"As dry as the streets been for jobs, if you don't use coupons you a fool. People trying to save money wherever they can. If she can't respect that, tell her to kick rocks & enjoy yoself!!"

… which got the attention of Brent, who returned with…
"N if she leaves, that makes that coupon all the more valuable (unless it was a buy 1 get 1 free type deal, then u just gotta call a new face), balling on a budget bebe!!!"

… to which Galen returned…
"@Brent damn that!! Take that second one home & eat it for later!!"

And Brent and Galen were on the same page the whole time, it seems, as Brent returned with…
"@Galen you right, you ain't spoke no lie"

Next respondent was my Mexican cousin homie Steve, with…
"Galen has a point..."

Then former coworker/friend of family Derek came in with…
"It is never wrong to use a coupon. Ever!"

Next was an in-person answer from someone who never wants to become a part of the comment threads, La'Donicca, with...
"I'm the coupon queen but I never use restaurant coupons- afraid I might appear tacky. shrug I don't think it's wrong but I aint into it. But then, I only support myself."

Next respondent was best friend, Roger, with...
"The answer is no, it is not wrong to use a coupon on a date mr. Evans. If the male/female has a problem with that, consider it a warning sign that they a) like to front like they 'got it' at all costs and b) will be careless with your H.R. paperstacks when it REALLY counts if they are trippin on u wanting to flip a $35 bill into a BOGOF, $10 off, etc. "

Then came former coworker, Kianna, with...
"i say there's never a wrong time...if he or she turns their nose up, perhaps that date should be the last one"

... to which Derek responded...
"Last, one. Leave her ass at the restaurant with the bill."

Next comment was from former coworker Kendra with...
"Ok, I'm gonna have to add a little different perspective. If ya'll haven't been dating long and you can't afford a date without a coupon find something else to do. DON'T use a coupon on the first, second, or third date. There are plenty of ways of being thrifty without having to use a coupon on a date. You can cook for your date, go on a picnic, do any type of recreational activites (swimming, skating, matinee movie) that is a lot cheaper then alot of other options. Being on a budget should make one want to be more creative when it comes to planning dates, which in turn lets your date know that you put a lot of thought into impressing them without spending alot of money or having to pull out a coupon. There's nothing wrong at all with coupons after you've been dating for awhile. Also, a girl won't necessarily not date you anymore just because you pulled out a coupon on a first date because she's after your "stacks". There may be other factors involved."

... to which Roger retorted...
"@kendra, interesting point. I thought about that pov before i posted, but i couldnt get around that being in the realm of fronting for the other party, even if for a 'good' reason"

Kendra returned with...
"@ James, it's not fronting at all. It's just finding another way of showing a person of who you are. And you're also showing your self that you can be a more dynamic person if you put your mind to it. Honestly, I will pull a coupon out if I'm with my bf and I won't mind if he pulls one out, but we've been together for awhile. But before all of the whipping out of coupons and everything we did get to experience each other on a different level by going on more creative and affordable dates. I understand times are hard but to be able to put that little extra effort and attention into our dates I think it gave us a better idea of who we are on a more intimate level. I'm just speaking from experience. I can't speak for anybody else."

... to which Roger retorted...
"@kendra, i understood/understand where u are coming from. For me,coupon doesnt = cant afford the date/broke. Its just a coupon. I just kinda find it sad a person would feel a way about another over such a thing."

And I think Kendra sees the point, as she came back around with...
"@ James, it is sad that a person would assume that someone doesn't have money because they use a coupon. That would be the wrong person to be with and if that's the ONLY reason they don't want to be with that person then they can kick rocks. However, if somebody has to question whether it's acceptable for them to use a coupon before they go on a date then there are other means of entertainment they can find. If they thought it was completely ok to use the coupon on a date (and I'm only referring to dates at the beginning of the relationship) then they wouldn't question it in the first place. But I do agree with you, it is wrong for people to be so shallow..."


As for me?

I am sitting here right now thinking about what a damned fool dude from the last QOTD was for NOT having a coupon... Sure, back in the time when chivalry was being drug out back and shot by women, using a coupon on a date would be seen as cheap and tacky. But that was before the economy consumed itself and then shit the bed. Now it is smart business, even if you have plenty of money.

I would love for ANY of the two of you, my dear readers, to ACT like The Katie and I with straight faces don't specifically look for coupons for where we aim to eat damn near every time we go out. Hell, we JUST used a buy one get one coupon that fell out of a magazine she had this past Saturday. Shit is real. I am in the enviable position to where the respondents to this one already share my mindset on this one, so I really need not go into "what" on this one, so much as "why," which I will do shortly.
In my opinion, the restaurants that PLACE the coupons in magazines, catalogs and (get THIS shit) PHONE BOOKS are paying good money to get them placed and delivered to you in whatever means.

[Phlip note - yes, you're doing yourself a disservice if you throw away that phone book before reaping the benefits of the coupons... Those coupons are the only reason they still give out phone books anyway, fool-ass]

Where was I?

Right... It stands to reason that if they're willing to pay to place those ads, why in the hell would you THINK it is "tacky," or even "cheap" to use them? As with all advertising methods, they're placed as a pitch to get your face in the building, at which point you will not only get what you got free, but probably add something from the bar or an appetizer on top of it. They'll get that money back, they WANT you to use the coupons, silly!

And to address how your perspective date might feel about you using a coupon, then you should simply see the comments from above. Anyone you are "dating," that takes issue with you making strides to save a couple bucks on something that is otherwise nonessential, then perhaps you should not be seeking to date this individual.
This question comes not from a "can you afford it" or a "you should be more creative to save some money," as much as it does a common sense one...

To answer the question directly, the question should be asked "what the fuck is REMOTELY tacky about saving money when you're readily offered the chance to?"
Exactly... I can stop right here and right now.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hotep Hollywood -- WE MUST PROTECT CHADWICK BOSEMAN!!!

True Story©... The Wrath of 45 -- Clapback Season

On Respect...