"You've got a friend in me"... a conversation



This one should be decently simple… I even thought of this one on my own sitting here at my desk as well. Some things that have fallen into my lap over the past few weeks, combined with some peoples’ reaction to them and the shifting of positions of people in my life caused me to query The Book of Face with…

“Question of the day… How do YOU define what a ‘friend’ is?”

I would, as usual, sit back and wait on the responses, hoping for some good ones.

First was the homie Joe, with…
"FIRST!
[Phlip note – dick]

Hmm...well obviously there's a bit of time that goes into it, if I've known you for a day, cool or not, you're an acquaintence. But for me its someone that's there for you when they don't need to be, who understands you, and isn't afraid to tell you how it is. Also actually meeting the person, for me, isn't that important as I have many friends I've known for years (*cough* one from NC) that I talk to all the time but I've never physically met in person, but I know they'd be there for me if I ever needed anything."

Next would be Brent, with...
"That cat you might not see for a year or two but when u do link up its like cuttin class in HS all over again"

Then came Sybil, with...
"A Friend: always there for the good moments, the bad moments, the ugly moments, the in between "ima let you be an a$$, go ahead and figure out how wonderful I am for dealing with you even though you don't deserve it" moments, the after when the cray-cray is over with you're still willing to deal with them moments.....all situations being handled with grace & mercy of course (and an occassional slap to the back of the head if behaviorial modification warrants such an act for the idiot friend). Yes, that is a Friend. LoL :)"

Next would be my cousin Desmond, with...
"A friend is a person who got your back in any weather. They will also let you know when you are in the wrong. A friends is always blessed to see others doing well and is saddened by when they are not living well."

As for me?
I am EXTRA tight with who I will call a "friend," I traipse about the world with a large network of people I will gladly call "acquaintances," but it will take some serious work on the part of anyone aiming to be in my circle. No worries, as I understand the ins and outs of the situation to know that said work is to be matched…

So, then, who are my “friends”?
  • The people who I can depend on to come and get me off the side of the highway with a flat, with knowledge that I would do the same for them.
  • The people that I exchange random text messages – and now tweets – with on a semi-regular basis.
  • The people I feel I can tell things to without the feeling that they’re using the information to judge me or catalog for use at a later date.

and quite simply…
The people I am comfortable inviting into my home, and not in that Hollywood “sure, yeah, come on over!” kinda passive-aggressive know-you-weren’t-coming anyway kinda way.

Know that becoming an individual who is an as-described friend is not a permanent position. Aversion to being the same in return is the number one way to find your way OUT of the circle. No, it is all about what you can do for me, and DAMN sure will not be allowed to be when you have found the time to tell me what I can do for you. Rampant disrespect over differences of opinion, random acts of selfishness and refusal to hear anything that is not general concession to your own perfection are the bricks to that wall I build around myself.
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