March 5 -- The first person to die in the American Revolution

Look, I know that anyone reading this SHOULD know the name immediately upon reading the title, we were killed to death with that during black history month in school.
What we did not know, however, was the date.

At least I wasn't, not without researching for this post.

Crispus Attucks – a VERY slave-ish name – was believed to be in his 40s when he was the first person shot to death by British redcoats in the Boston Massacre.
he is held as a martyr of the American Revolutionary War, with which there IS no America.

As ever, with black “heros,” even those only famous for dying, his history is an amalgamation of “little is known” and “well, we still argue over his race… was he a slave, freedman or escapee. Hell, we think he may have had a little Indian in him too!”

See the ramp-up to the election of one Barry Obama for continuation of the effectiveness of diminishing the blackness of someone who cannot be denied.

Ironic that the prevailing truth that flies in the face of the long-held belief that anyone who should so die for this great country of ours to live had damn well better be a God-fearing blue-eyed individual of European Descent. You bet your ass that if it is a (n-word), then we will change history accordingly.


“wait… we mixed him with the ethnic group that we were actively stealing the country from? SHIT! Someone get Paul Revere and a more sexy story up here, STAT!!!”

See? I got this history thing DOWN by now… Take whatever happened and make it so the white person is the hero, no matter what happened.
This explains the white Jesus in movies and Churches throughout history, despite factual evidence (AND scripture) lending that he was probably a black dude when he was around, or at least “or Terrorist descent,” taking into consideration where he was understood to be born.

That, lady and gentleman, is what we call a tangent, and I was definitely on one.

Anyway…

March 5… Crispus Attucks died so 341 years later I would be able to man a keyboard and make mean-spirited jokes. He is worth celebrating and thanking.

1 comment