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Showing posts from November, 2016

True Story©... That Time I Wrote To Penthouse

True Story©…                 Wait, I need to set up a little background before I get all the way into this one.
One of the things for boy children that comes from the separation from your father right as you enter adolescence is that sex ed is left to a gym teacher who is uncomfortable dealing with presenting factual information while being responded to with snickering.  The only other place to get it is from the streets, and by “streets,” I mean the older dudes in the neighborhood and peers and such.
Fact: this is a SHITTY way to learn something so important and is one of the reasons that teenage pregnancies were so prevalent when I was in high school.                 Now, True Story© time.
One time when I was 18 or 19, I was CONVINCED that I should write in to Penthouse Forum.  For those who don’t know or won’t Google, Penthouse Forum was a magazine with raunchier pictures than playboy and a section where people would write in to brag of their sexual conquests.  At 37, I am CONVINC…

True Story©... The Job Interview

True Story©…

                Confidence is EVERYTHING. I realize that I have been using this space to tell silly stories with little in the sphere of life lessons.  For that, I apologize and intend to make it up to you.  Today’s discussion is how having your chest out and being confident can go FAR in getting you where you want and need to be.
Since the only way I know to tell you these things is through a totally real anecdotal True Story© of things that have happened in my life, we will peek in on me in a job interview from back when I first got home from the Military…
                Interviewer: “Well Mr Evans, what can you tell us about yourself?”
                Me: “Well as indicated on my CV here, I am recently home from the military.”
                Interviewer: “Oh?  Which branch?”
                Me: “Basically whichever they needed me in on a particular day, I am what you might call a specialist.”
                Interviewer: “And where did you serve?”
                Me…

True Story©... The SECOND Time DARE Ruined my Life

True Story©…

                Did I ever tell y’all about the time I got an assault charge?  Worry not, you’re about to read about it now. Back when I had my previous car, I refrained from putting a sound system in it because I ONLY bought the car as a soulless appliance and not to necessarily enjoy.  That said, I spent a lot of time listening to (and learning to fucking HATE) commercial radio all over again after 15 years without it.  I heard a spot one day where they were doing acting casting calls at a convention center here in town on a day I had previously taken as a Mental Health™ day from work.  Basically, they would interview random folks to see if they could be placed with agencies, no experience needed, all comers would be spoken to between the hours of 10am and 4pm.  With nothing to do that day, I got my hair cut clean and brushed my waves up nicely, groomed the beard and put on some good clothes and headed over.
                When I arrived, the line was BEASTLY!  I mean…

True Story©... Love in the TSA

True Story©…
                Fact: EVERY dude will find himself in a bit of a drought sometime or another in his life.  Some take to extreme measures to get themselves out of their funk.  These measures include paying for it, thirsting at every juncture, begging for it, tricking off on a couple of bills or expensive meals or (perhaps most reasonably) investing in some internets porn and resolving the issue in-house.
Anyway, a few years ago, I was in a bit of a slump and considering I don’t thirst, beg or pay and pr0ns was getting boring to me, I had to come up with something.
                It so happened that this was RIGHT around the time that the thwarted shoe and underwear bombers situations took place, so increased TSA scrutiny in airports began.  Soon after that, complaints of people being felt up by creepy TSA agents started rolling in.
…  and I had an idea.
I would book a quick cheap flight to somewhere close, like maybe Charlotte or DC or something like that so as to get a …