True Story©... I am going to open a luxury vape lounge!

True Story©…  A Luxury Vaping Lounge

                One of these days I will come up with one of these schemes and make enough money to not have to work with people who actually hate my guts and talk behind my back.
There are a great many things I happen to dislike intensely, one of them is the smell of smoke and the fervor for the acquisition of such in those who consume it.  It is not enough that smoke is one of my worst asthma triggers as it is, but the smell of stale smoke in the car or house of someone who smokes often in closed areas.
Never mind that, there is a worse version of smoker, even with the smell abated a bit.

"Vapers”
I call them “vape douches” or “vape bros.”

                One of my theories is that the LAST thing I want to have to do to someone is to EVER have to pay them, even worse to pay them on my own volition.  Something about having to contribute to something I DETEST irks me to my very soul, not terribly dissimilar to my tax dollars having to contribute to housing and feeding the Trump family for the next 4 years.
With that in mind, though, I have an idea.  That idea is to (legally) TAKE money from these fucking douche missiles.
That idea?  A luxury vaping lounge!

                Stick with me, here.  One thing I have noticed about these assholes is that they will spend a fuck ton of money on a vaping pen/box setup – I’m taking a couple hundred bucks for supplies and modifications – then (ironically) spend about as much on supplies and flavoring agents as they would have on a pack of cigarettes every day.  Somehow, they justify this as their path to “quitting smoking cigs,” but they blow through just as much money in the process.  En route, though, they treat their new hobby as a status symbol…  I live in Tobacco Country, as in the east side of my city literally smells of it, but there are areas of the city where there are actually SIX vapor lounge/supply places within 5-1500 feet of one another.
That said, it is no huge reach to see someone hop out of a lifted truck who says “bro” a lot who will inevitably query you “do you vape, bro?” and try to convince you that it is NOTHING like smoking when you respond “nah, I don’t smoke.”

                But I am after the “status symbol” aspect of this and will use this as my means of coining these motherfuckers.  With an inundation of vape lounges already, I need to make someone think they’re actually GETTING something for their premium on pricing.  See, in the others, it seems that you just walk in and buy some supplies and are then free to have a seat and suck on your robot dildo--…  err, vape pen.

                1 - $10 cover charge…  A placard at the door will justify this with the explanation that it is to “only attract real vapers, bro”
$100 buys you a month membership with daily access.
2 – Members in lifted trucks can get a 20% discount on daily admission or 25% off of monthly.
3 – Once inside, nothing is free and we do not allow outside supplies.  You can bring your own devices, but not flavors and other stuff from outside.
4 – Once-weekly vape parties, with EDM music and lightshows and shit.
5 – VIP seating section where you and your friends can sit back and vape in absolute style while others look on.


I can’t imagine how this will MISS!
I create an air of superiority in a community that already has one that it has not yet earned, create a system under which people who already can’t stand to be around them hate them even more and most importantly, I get to take money from them to do it!  All my bases are covered, I can close myself in an office in the corner of the building and not actually interact with these fuckboys and I keep a couple of large people on security detail to quell the inevitable fight that will happen when douchebags are trying to impress each other for the attention of women they have not noticed are nowhere around anyway.  All in the name of something that is inexplicably WILDLY popular for no good reason other than successful marketing to people too dumb to realize it is no better or safer than what it replaces.  Nurture an unearned elitism in the existing space in the market and I should be basically PRINTING money, right?
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