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1,350 Days
True Story©... The Big Payoff pt IX
I bought an Audi.
All I did was buy a fucking Audi!
I didn’t sell any drugs, perhaps I was wrong for having
dealt with a foreign government, and the inconvenience of the logistics of
dealing with them leaves it where I am done with those smelly motherfuckers
first chance I get ANYWAY.
But here I am, shackled to a chair and cuffed to a table with a couple of federal agents staring at me with the stinkface…
Agent: “So…” Me: “Look, just tell me what you need to know.” Agent: “Wanna tell us where you got this shiny new Audi?” Me: “You know EXACTLY what dealership I bought it from, they sent you the paperwork that helped you find m--…” Agent: “SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN!” Me: “Well…” Agent: “Where did you get the money?!” Me: “Coal money” Agent: “Coal money?” Me: “Coal money” Agent: “Look, asshole, nothing in your family history suggests any coal country connections, and the amount of coal it would take to make even THIS kind of money is more than you would be able …
But here I am, shackled to a chair and cuffed to a table with a couple of federal agents staring at me with the stinkface…
Agent: “So…” Me: “Look, just tell me what you need to know.” Agent: “Wanna tell us where you got this shiny new Audi?” Me: “You know EXACTLY what dealership I bought it from, they sent you the paperwork that helped you find m--…” Agent: “SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN!” Me: “Well…” Agent: “Where did you get the money?!” Me: “Coal money” Agent: “Coal money?” Me: “Coal money” Agent: “Look, asshole, nothing in your family history suggests any coal country connections, and the amount of coal it would take to make even THIS kind of money is more than you would be able …
