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"The Magic Johnson Theory" a Myspace Reblog

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... originally posted to my MySpace December 2007...

Everyone knows that there is usually this odd little banter between Roger and I whenever we should so happen to be in the same place at the same time for any period of time... This past Saturday, we had some shit to do, and stopped to murder someone's breakfast buffet somewhere in the middle of it and as we rode around to the "doing nothing" part of the day, happened upon a few more of our inappropriate jokes, which are usually only funny to us. To those on the outside looking in, how we usually find ourselves laughing is funnier than the actual subject matter, but that is the caveat of having a morbid sense of humor.
I mean, we MIGHT have talked about how Jessica Alba is allegedly pregnant, and how she allegedly is in need of a prescription for Valtrex. For those too lazy to click a link and learn themselves up, or don't already know, I invite you to think of the commercials where people are smiling all the wa…
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True Story©... The Big Payoff pt V

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Angel on my left shoulder, telling me “Phlip, don’t get on that plane.”
     Devil on my right shoulder, telling me “Phlip, get that money and get the fuck out.” Internal tug-of-war, provide for my family in a manner that I had to learn to contribute to as a child, in a manner that I might have never imagined so easily attainable or stay here in the United States and drive this bag around and watch these companies shovel out all of the magical coal they might so need.  Pick your poison, Phillip.  Slow burn and hard work or hit this international lick and be straight one at a time.
     Why am I even second-guessing myself?  I KNEW I shouldn’t be on this fucking plane.  As opportunistic as I have been about trapping this cash over the past six months – I am at a million and a half now with my under-the-table museum contracts – I am still quite liberal as far as environmental issues go.  At least those in my own back yard, I feel something when I see my family and friends of my fa…
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True Story©... Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

True Story©…

                Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

This is one that has been up for debate for many years.  We’re to understand that Santa already had his reindeer fleet set to go, and all of a sudden another one shows up out of nowhere with a bright red nose?  Nah dawg, that ain’t how the story went.  It CAN'T be.  Today, I am here to lay it out for real.

                We readily believe that Santa handles his Christmas duties every year with the same 8 reindeer; Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen…  Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (admit it, you sang that shit, didn't you?).  All of a sudden, after 100 years there is a new reindeer at the North Pole?  HOW LONG WAS THIS DUDE THERE?!!?  And to make the story just a little more juicy, how about the fact that one that no one was allowed to see or hear of him from the beginning of the Santa Claus story in 1839 to the discovery of Cocaine in the late 1850s and then still remaining COMPLETELY hidden until the story they…
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