Posts

Showing posts from July, 2017
1,268 Days
1,269 Days
1,270 Days
1,271 Days
1,272 Days

True Story© Tech Support for the World At Large

Image
Until my fortunes change, I am an IT specialist by day, a writer when time allows, and murderous supervillain by night. Sometimes I lose sight of which “job” I am on and do some supervillain shit when I need to be earning a paycheck. F’rinstance, there was last week at work…
Monday:
Nurse: “Let me start off, sir, by saying that I am totally computer illiterate, but I need your help. This printer is not working and I don’t know what to do.” Me: “Have you rebooted the computer and the printer?” Nurse: “I think so.” Me: “You’ve checked physical connections and supplies, right?” Nurse: “No, but I can right now.” *checks* “Everything seems to be fine on that front” Me: “Well ma’am, have you taken off your shirt before cursing at the device while flinging poo at it?” Nurse: “I can’t imagine that would fix this issue.” Me: “Sure it would lady, I do this every day. I am the professional here and you called me for help.” Nurse: “But there’s clients in here” Me: “Look, do you want them out of your office or …
1,273 Days

Hotep Movie Moments - Top Five

Image
Hollywood is here to teach us to hate our own.  We are not, under any realistic circumstances to see ourselves in a positive light in the movies coming out of that shithole.  Today, we are here to discuss the five types of Negro that they WILL allow us to see ourselves portrayed as.
The Black Friend©This is the cat you normally find in buddy cop movies.  He is partnered with an alcoholic, but grizzled veteran, cop who does all the thinking and decision making.  His role as Black Friend© is to be the comic relief and come up with Sassy Black Phrases™.  You can expect to see shit he/she says to steal cheap laughs on a t-shirt at the nearest HBCU homecoming to you.
.The Magic Negro™
We’ve all seen The Green Mile.  That is the most prominent Magical Negro film ever created.  But not all “magic,” as employed is necessarily metaphysical.  Remember that Eddie Murphy movie last year Mr Church?  Of course you don’t, the film only had a domestic take of $700k and most people stopped watching afte…
1,274 Days

Phood Phun with Phlip... Cauliflower Croquettes

Image
I initially came up with this recipe March 14, 2013.
Wait.
                Let me begin by explaining culinary substitutions…  This recipe INITIALLY used leftover mashed potatoes and, since we committed to getting our weight and lab numbers to levels that wouldn’t make our doctors sweat, we had to learn to use other things.  In this case, cauliflower became the move.  No, you cannot expect cauliflower to be potatoes, or even quite taste like them.  Only to take the necessary consistency to stand in for them without containing THIRTY-SEVEN grams of carbohydrates for just one potato in a recipe that would call for at least two or three.

Now…
I initially came up with the original version of this recipe March 14, 2013 when I was slumming and refusing to throw out leftovers and instead repurposed them. The beauty of this one is that it can (and should) be planned for.  Some of these things are best worked cold, I will explain in detail.
                First of all, you will need:

1 fres…
1,275 Days

Baby Name Generator Abuse

Image
I have lost 40 pounds… 60 if you count the 20 I lost immediately when my heart was trying to kill me, but we’ll only count the 40 I lost on purpose. Diet and exercise.  In the sharing of my experience, every Tuesday, I will post a low-carb meal for you.  I have been doing that for most of a year now.  What I DON’T post is that every 6-10 weeks or so, we enjoy a random-ass cheat day.  Only one and we feel horrible the next morning. Where I work, there are THREE private donut shops with some of the best donuts in my state.  Two are owned by Vietnamese cousins and each is about 8 minutes from my job.
     One morning on a cheat day, I stopped by one of the Vietnamese ladies to pick some things up for us.  Ahead of us in line was a man with his four kids.  As it was apparently the last day of school  for them, he was treating them and letting them choose.
Him: “Mason?” Kid: “[donut]” Me:  *thinks* “Aiden” Him: “Aiden?” Kid: “[donut]” Me: *thinks* “Connor” Him: “Connor?” Kid: “[donut]” Me: *thinks* “Th…
1,276 Days
1,277 Days
1,278 Days

Welcome to CallmePhlip.com... Some houskeeping

Image
It was brought to my attention Wednesday and again yesterday that a couple of things that I thought were pretty obvious were not so much so… With that, I will spend a few words this morning explaining them.
1 – I believe in continuity and make a point of supporting it with tags and links back to prior posts or to whatever outside element will clarify a statement.Links will look like this and will be set to open in a new tab/window so you don't lose your spot in a post.
Tags can be found under every post:


[Note: tags will be both topical and comical, so don’t be alarmed]
2 – Only those who KNOW know what and what not to accept as bare-assed truth, with the exception of food posts.  Remember that I have a jacked up sense of humor and sometimes laugh at real shit and we’re all good.  When you want to come at my neck for supporting R. Kelly(<-- almost="" got="" i="" killed="" me="" one="" that="" twice="&quo…
1,279 Days

True Story© The Misadventures of Mr. Moe Phillips

Image
I make a point of not putting my picture, location, or naming where I work in these tales…
Frankly, I know some of what I say is provocative, I happen to be a SEXY motherfucker and I really don’t need the general public to have that kind of access to me.  Contact methods can be found on the page and we can carry all media requests from there.  Don’t bother asking for money, because I happen to be broke.
     So I am in Wal Mart last week picking up a couple of things for the household(s) and I get a tap on the shoulder from a young lady.  Apparently, a friend of hers had read my earlier post about helping the guy out of a shitty situation in that same store and shared with her timeline.
As much as I appreciate you all sharing, sometimes I feel as if I am digging my own damned grave.
Her: “H-…  Hi.  Your name’s Moe right?” Me: *looks for potential escape routes/murder weapons* “Um, yeah!” Her: “You sure?” Me: “Yeah, pretty sure.  Who’s asking?” Her: “A fried of a friend.  I read about …
1,280 Days

Hotep Heroes - Robert Sylvester Kelly

Image
It seems that R. Kelly has done it again.
Every time he has some music about to come out lately, he seems to find himself mired in some scandal.  Not to say he has music coming out right now, but the industry thing has been surprise albums for the last couple years.  Let's run it down real quick...  Marrying a 15 year-old, peeing on other 15 year-olds on camera, admitting to being illiterate because he never had to learn to read, lord knows what else.
But this latest “scandal” suggests that he at least has kept his mind on his past and is using it to form not only his future, but to create stronger Black family units in that future.
We HEARD your eyes roll at that last sentence, but we think he might be onto something here.  As suggested in a poem a couple of weeks ago, strength in numbers is the foundation for the strong Black family unit.  A strong Black man and as many Black women as that man can handle and please physically.
     Robert Sylvester Kelly is a Hotep Hero.

In th…
1,281 Days

Phood Phun with Phlip... Fried Chicken Breakfast Sliders

Image
Two cooks in the kitchen turns what COULD be two posts into one.
Over the past 12 months now, we have effectively eliminated most simple carbs from our diet and have enjoyed the benefit of eating well and still managing to lose weight.  Turns out that "low carb" is in no way the same as "no carb."  Set a goal and manage your diet to fit within that number and all will be amazing.  Somewhere in the process, we learned that we have been frying chicken DEAD wrong for most of our lives. Today, we’re here to share the technique with both of you.
Sunday morning, we created fried chicken sliders for breakfast with chicken strips, a bread of almond flour and cheese, and of course cheesy scrambled eggs.


1.15lb boneless/skinless chicken 1tbsp seasoning blend (onion/garlic powders, paprika, and lemon pepper, plus salt to taste) 1tsp corn starch 1tbsp flour

Off camera, 1-3 days before...  Cut the chicken into strips and marinate it in your seasoning blend and some buttermilk.  
     N…
1,282 Days
1,283 Days
1,284 Days
1,285 Days
1,286 Days

True Story© The Soundtrack to my Life

Image
Music frames a great lot of what I do…
Back when I first separated/divorced, I was (naturally) back on the dating scene and of course it was vastly different from what I remembered it as from five years prior.
Long story short, these new girls were onto the bullshit that the generation ahead of them just had no clue of how to prepare for. As the world in the life of a hunter goes, though, one adapts to catch what you know how to hunt.

“Phlip, what in the mad steamy assfuck does this have to do with music?” is what I hear the three (yep, new subscribers!) of you saying right now.
Chill, I will get to that in a few minutes.
I did the rounds… POF, OKC, and a couple of other sites that aren’t FOR dating but are reduced to about that much.
I managed maybe two or three “out” dates, like where I drove and paid for a dinner, and SEVERAL “in” dates, which is “Netflix and chill” before stopping at Cookout for a tray and milkshake on the way back to the crib.
Naturally, this shit got old pretty dam…