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Showing posts from August, 2017
1,237 Days

True Story©... The "Work Spouse"

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School is back in, which means the whole of the employed population are now carrying their asses back to where they earn their paychecks.  Some people sandbag the whole or most of their leave time to spend summer vacations with the kids.  Some are teachers themselves and will stay home during the summer instead of a part time job in the in-between.
Either way; working, off work or on vacationing with the kids…  It is all over now.
     So Monday afternoon on my lunch break, I stop to put gas in my car and the guy at the pump next to me sees a friend of his going into the store and they stop and have a quick conversation…
Guy #1: “Yo!  Whatup man?” Guy #2: “Not shit…  Chillin’.” #1: “Sheeit, me too.  Ready to get these damn kids back in school.” #2: “Hell yeah man, these lil n**gas tryna eat me outta house and home.” #1: “Man, fuck the food.  I am lookin’ at that gat-damn light bill!” #2: “Yeah, that too!” #1: “How’s your wife doin’ man?” #2: “She good, we just got back from the beach just…
1,238 Days

The "Dad-Zone," Starring Jorah Mormont

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(BACK UP OLD MAN!!!  Dad-Zone approved 3 feet, asshole!)

     I will begin this by saying that if you don’t watch Game of Thrones or haven’t read the novels upon which it is based, I thank you for your visit to my site and would love for you to share with your friends, but you should probably go ahead and leave now. Now that we got that part out of the way…
     Jorah Mormont of Game of Thrones has reached a Hall of Fame-level depth of friend-zonedness.
See we know the actual, regular friend zone where a dude expresses interest in a woman and that interest is not reciprocated but instead of setting him and his feelings free to pursue someone who MIGHT reciprocate said interest, she tells him he is a “friend,” and keeps him around for the attention that friendship tends to come with.
This is problematic in general because he is left thinking that access will eventually lead him to where he wanted to be in the first place.  Unfortunately, it is more like an unpaid internship that ends with…

Back to (Hotep) School

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(yes, it is real)

     For all of my Hotep Carryings on for the last few months, I still find myself in a moment looking waaay more into what I will write about than one should spend on things they really only intend to make continuous light of and not ever actually take seriously.
     So this week, I was going to key on the back to school thing and do “Back to Hotep School,” and my Google search ALMOST led me to go in on an alleged (but unproven-to-be) “Doctor” whose name I will not mention here until I located a website for an ACTUAL Hotep school. [Phlip note: I hope y'all didn't think I was JOKING when I said I work really hard at behaving this ignorantly]
And this was the mindfuck…
Actually, really a real legitimate Hotep school, as in by name and all.  Their website was dodgy (or perhaps just vague, given my attention span) with information as to what they were about.  I poked around for several minutes looking for pictures, descriptions and such but didn’t come up with much …
1,239 Days

Phood Phun with Phlip - Eggplant Chicken Chili

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No cutesy backstory to this one.  Mimi came up with this one off the top of her head when we were brainstorming things to cook when we basically swore off carbs last year.  She is brilliant like that.

     The beauty of this is that it is a crock pot meal, not requiring a ton of attention or difficult techniques.  Let’s get right into it.  You will need: 1 can of Rotel 1 can crushed tomatoes 3 cups diced chicken 1 cup chicken broth 3 cups eggplant 2tbsp chili powder 1/2tsp crushed red pepper 1tsp each of oregano, cumin, onion powder, garlic powder, pepper, and coriander salt, to taste
Dice the eggplant and salt it well, do this while the chicken is cooking.
Again, this is a crockpot meal and will not be complicated at all.  Everyone in the pool now, mix well and stir occasionally.
We’re calling this a chili, so be prepared to cook and stir until it is the desired consistency and taste for how you like your chili.
Although the "meat/veggie/sauce" formula covers all bases in t…

Some Thoughts on Game of Thrones S7E7

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(Warming up for the Winter Olympics next year)

Okay, so apparently the word “spearchucking” is offensive to some people.  Like, even when describing someone who is depicted ACTUALLY throwing a fucking spear.
I won’t apologize.
Warning: I will talk about things that HAVE happened on the show and while some might call these “spoilers,” I do not since the shit has been online since Thursday and available through all official avenues since last night.  If you haven't seen it yet and don’t want spoilers, please close your browser tab.
I won’t approach these like a normal episode recap, because you should have known not to expect normal from me.
Before I continue, I have a couple of questions/observations… Remember in earlier seasons, when it would take a character/group several episodes in a course that should represent several weeks to move from one place in Westeros to another?
Average horse footspeed is what?  6mph?  By my quick math (and I don't math good), it should take at least …
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1,244 Days

True Story© Cloning Myself

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It has become apparent that hard work and education are not what are going to get me rich.
Not for lack of effort, but moreso a lack of opportunity aligned with my specific set of skills.  I am good with a plan, I am good with managing my outcomes.  My issue is usually my selection of a plan that will prove lucrative in the end. I recently had a BRIGHT idea…
     I have recently learned that women are perverts like men are.  They are also not cheap when their perversions are piqued.  I learned this in conversations with friends about the funds that have been spent on male strippers, “toys” and various other sensual aides.  I guess they aren't like men after all, we're fucking stupid to be honest when it comes to how we spend our money related to being perverts.
I was sure, though, that I my chance to tap into a LUCRATIVE market!
     As a well-documented titty connoisseur and unashamed pervert, I am getting my piece of the smut peddler’s pie dammit.
“But Phlip, aren’t you wit…

Not my President... Not Yours Either

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Your president is not the president of any party. He is not the president of independents either.
He is the president of himself.

Not to be tied by the boundaries of proper decorum or common decency.
Not to be bothered with the opinions of people who know what they are doing.
Do you REALLY expect someone who claims to have all of the answers to take any instruction?
Nothing about him suggests that he gives enough of a fuck about anyone in this nation unless there is something in it for him.
Look how quick he was to walk back as much of his repudiation of Neo Nazis and such as he could to maintain what little support he has.
Look at how he has majorities in all major halls of government and, to date, has not one single legislative accomplishment.
Look at how he has had more turnover in his cabinet than a fucking McDonald’s.
Look at how he responds to even the mildest constructive criticism.
Look at how he can’t even keep friends inside of his “own” (see above, he isn’t one of them and t…
1,245 Days

This Week in Hotep News

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…  or more accurately, “drowned out of the news.” Let’s have a look at how “they” have shut us out of our just due media coverage just this week alone.
Let’s look at the first and most prominent ongoing issue of interest.  Colin Kaepernick is still unsigned despite half of the NFL preparing to start bums, just to prove a point.
Members of the media were on board, it simply didn’t make sense that this man was not on someone’s roster as a #2 waiting for his chance to challenge for #1.
     It was taking up too much damned attention. So someone got the word to a couple of white players to show some “solidarity” with the brown ones who continued his fight.  All of a sudden we have the White Saviors we needed to tell us we were not in this alone.
Nope™
What we had was a distraction.  With the White Savior, we had a distraction from the uncomfortable truths that Brother Kaepernick was trying to bring attention to and to those brave white players willing to stand for something.  And, by design, …
1,246 Days

Phood Phun with Phlip... PIZZA NIGHT

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Honestly, this meal came from a mistake… Wait, put a pin in that, we will come back to that.
     We spend a lot of time on Google looking for carb-friendly recipes and spins on things that normal people want to eat.  One that had frequently escaped us was pizza.  We were having to wait on full-on cheat days to enjoy pizza.
One day, we said “NO MORE!!!” and went out and found a recipe for pizza crust involving ingredients more friendly to people who are avoiding carbs.
To top it off, it is pretty easy to make. First, you will need the supplies: 1/3 cup each grated Parmesan, Almond Flour and Coconut Flour. 1tbsp cream cheese 1 cup shredded white Italian cheese (really, shredded cheese of your choosing) 1 large egg

Forming the crust: Mix together the cream cheese and shredded cheese. Microwave in 15 second intervals until all melted (this will vary by cheese). 

Once all melted, mix in the egg. It’s going to look weird but stay with me.
Now, add the dry mixture. As you stir, it will begin to ge…