This will be a summary… For the past twelve months, I have chronicled my exploits after
having attempted to rob Santa Claus for the world’s presents.What is left out to those who have not been
watching since Christmas time 2016 is why.
Well here I am to explain it. 1 – Rudolph is a dope fiend
[link] 2 – Santa is Rudolph’s Dealer
[link] 3 – BECAUSE Santa is Rudolph’s dealer, he should be robbed
[link] 4 – Shit is now going south, but I am turning it into money right?
[link] 5 – My greed is getting complicated, but shit is still moving
[link] 6 – Too. Damn. Good. To. Be. True
[link] 7 – I’ve been robbed!
[link] 8 – Fuck robbed, I been kidnapped!
[link] 9 – I want OUT of this situation now…
[link] 10 – … but DAMN this money is good!
[link] 11 – I’m forever to be a victim of my own desires,
[link] 12 – The liberal media only exists sometimes to complicate
[link] 13 – I’m getting out this shit, I have a plan!
[link] 14 – Resolution…Santa wins
I have written THOUSANDS of pages of
shit through …
I remember I went to get 2 tires that morning. Kumho 711, size 215/45 17. I'd gotten 2 for the front two weeks earlier, so the first time in 3 cars I was sporting a full set of ONE kind of tire at all 4 corners and happily on my way. Then I went to work, did 4 hours of overtime. AT&T Wireless was not allowed to see me on a Saturday for anything south of $20something an hour, I was SERIOUS about that shit. Jesse, Jessica, Jerome, Jenna and Josh were all in town for Father's Day, I spent the afternoon trying to learn Jessica to drive 5-speed, and I am willing to bet that now -- 6 years, 2 months and 2.5 weeks later -- she still can't do it... I'm a shitty teacher when my student is not picking up what I am putting down.
Anyway. We cooked out at the house, but I had planned to meet with Roger, Brandon and Jason at Celebration Station that evening, then another cookout and party at Ryan's , so following a good grilled meal with fam and a few beers, I went to Celebrati…
This is one that has been up for debate for many years. We’re to understand that Santa already had
his reindeer fleet set to go, and all of a sudden another one shows up out of nowhere with a
bright red nose? Nah dawg, that ain’t
how the story went. It CAN'T be. Today, I am here to
lay it out for real.
We readily believe that Santa handles his Christmas duties every year
with the same 8 reindeer; Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen… Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (admit it, you sang that shit, didn't you?). All of a sudden, after 100 years there is a
new reindeer at the North Pole? HOW LONG
WAS THIS DUDE THERE?!!? And to make the story just a little more juicy, how about the fact that one that no one was allowed to see or hear of him from the beginning of the Santa Claus story in 1839 to the discovery of Cocaine in the late 1850s and then still remaining COMPLETELY hidden until the story they…